10 Things Likeable People Never, Ever Do (And Why You Love Them For It)
Updated: Oct 28, 2020
This article is a transcribed edited summary of a video Bob and Brad recorded in January of 2020. For the original video go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP3-eawDsIQ&t=30s
Bob: Today we’re going to talk about 10 things likeable people never ever do and why we love them for it.
Brad: Say no more, Bob.
Bob: I think these are great things to remind ourselves on how to conduct ourselves.
Bob: Because people are going to like us better, but you’re going to become a better person for it too.
Bob: All right, number one, 10 things likeable people never ever do. #1 They don’t blame; they don’t blame others.
Bob: You know, people do make mistakes and they don’t meet your expectations all the time. But generally, what you’ll find is sometimes you were partly to blame too.
Bob: And you should take responsibility. Take your share of the blame. Maybe you didn’t train them right. Maybe you didn’t make your needs clear.
Brad: Right, right, can you do that as a parent to your child? I would say, I maybe didn’t raise you right.
Brad and Bob: LOL
Bob: That’s all.
Brad: Yeah, maybe we’ll skip that.
Bob: I was never afraid. Now I’d be interested to see what my kids say, because a lot of them watch this, Matt. I always was never afraid to apologize if I was wrong.
Brad: Oh really,
Bob: I’d say I want to apologize. I was a parent, I did it wrong. So alright, #2 Likeable people, they don’t control you. They don’t try to control the things that you’re doing. They just try to control themselves.
Bob: And then let the cards fall where they may. Brad, you’re trying to think about this. Whether or not you agree with it?
Brad: No, no, I’m just deciphering through it and thinking of things here.
Bob: Yeah, you don’t wanna use fear or force authority.
Brad: You lead versus control.
Bob: Right, very good. There you go. You came up with a good one, Brad. All right, #3 They don’t try to impress. Okay, this just happened to me. Now I can’t even give you any indication at all who it was because in case they’re watching this, but they’re going on and on, Brad about their retirement and how much and how good his wife’s going to be set and all that. I mean, for like an hour.
Bob: And I was like seriously-
Brad: The eyes are glazing over.
Bob: Yeah, I know, it’s like –
Brad: rolling ‘em,
Bob: Yeah, I know you made some good investments and all that, but no one likes you for your clothes, or your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. If they do, they’re superficial. Genuine relationships are all that matter.
Brad: Right, someone that could make you laugh and feel good.
Bob: Right, right. That’s why I like Brad. I’m being serious with Brad. We’re both simple guys.
Brad: LOL, yeah,
Bob: Just give us simple –
Brad: Is that like a simpleton?
Bob: Yes, simpleton.
Bob: A lot of people would agree with that. Okay, #4 They don’t interrupt. Now this, I’m accused of this sometimes, interrupting you, I know how important it is not to. I have a friend, he was best man at my wedding. When I’m talking to him, he is focused on me and what I’m saying.
Brad: Oh, I thought you were going to say he interrupted the priest of whatever at the wedding.
Bob: No, no. He’s got that trait; Richard you know?
Brad: Oh really,
Bob: Rich, he’s such a good listener. When you’re talking to him, you know he’s listening.
Brad: Is he that way with his wife too?
Bob: Well, they’re divorced,
Brad: Oh! LOL
Brad: Well, it was for a different reason then, I’m sure.
Bob: Yeah, it was a different reason, sorry Rich. All right, #5 They don’t cling. So, if you’re a person that’s insecure, you tend to hang onto things too tightly.
Brad: You mean cling to people or cling to –
Bob: Cling to people,
Bob: So, we had this neighbor who, my wife and I kind of reconnected with her, and like within the first day of talking to her again, she’s like, “Can I go to your cabin?” And it’s like, well, it’s just Linda and I going this weekend. “Well can I go with you.”
Bob: It’s like, so –
Brad: Maybe not.
Bob: Needless to say, that relationship got cleaved off pretty quickly so. #6 They don’t whine.
Bob: Your words have power over you.
Bob: And if you become a whiner, you start thinking that you’re blaming the outside forces, when you should look inside to see where you can change.
Brad: Yeah, it can be easy to whine sometimes-
Bob: It can be.
Brad: It just comes out, you gotta nip it in the bud.
Bob: I just saw somebody mentioned Scott Adams. He does the comic strip Dilbert. And he just said whenever he says something negative, he’s made a rule that he has to say something positive right away afterwards.
Brad: Balance it out.
Bob: Yep. You have to balance it out just because he was in that habit, he was saying too many negative things.
Brad: Oh, sure.
Bob: #7 They don’t criticize. Again, everybody’s different. Everybody does things that are bad once in a while. It’s nice to have someone that says, you know, I understand you maybe didn’t do that like you would have wanted to but we’re still with you, I’m not gonna criticize you.
Brad: Right, yep.
Bob: I have to work on some of these, by the way. Linda, my wife, LOL,
Brad: Oh, you don’t have all these down pat?
Bob: I don’t have all these down pat, not even close. She’s probably going to say I don’t have any of them down, actually.
Brad: I don’t have one down yet, but it makes me think about it anyways.
Bob: All right, #8 They don’t live in the past.
Bob: You can learn from the past but then move on, don’t dwell.
Brad: Yeah that dwelling thing. Yeah, it’s like, you know, you always say look forward.
Bob: Yep, yeah
Brad: Always look forward and –
Bob: Analyze what was wrong and then make adjustments.
Brad: Right, yep.
Bob: #9 They don’t preach. The higher up you move in life, a lot of times you think you know.
Brad: Yeah, the older you get maybe?
Bob: Yeah, you think that you’re in that position where you can start preaching.
Bob & Brad: LOL
Bob: You know, what I’ve learned the more as I move up in life, hopefully, is that the less I know, LOL.
Brad: Right, yeah.
Bob: I’m not nearly as smart as I thought I was.
Brad: It’s one of those things that are like people who are quiet and when they talk, everyone shuts up.
Bob: Right, right,
Brad: Those are the people that –
Bob: Those are the ones to listen to.
Brad: Right because when they say something everyone wants to know because –
Bob: They mean it and they usually are right on.
Brad: And they usually got their ducks in order.
Bob: Yep, yep, exactly. #10 They don’t let fear hold them back.
Bob: So, I like to hang around people that are courageous and go for it because I hope it rubs off on me a little bit. We all battle fears and we want to be able to move forward despite those fears.